Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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