i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize