It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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