She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
