Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
