Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
