Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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