we're blogging at a bar
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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