What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I died a long time ago.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
