weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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