Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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