Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
