The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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