Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
