We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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