You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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