I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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