omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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