love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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