The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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