Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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