She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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