Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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