Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize