so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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