Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
