I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
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