Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize