Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
