so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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