Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
