I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
