Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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