dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
