bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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