and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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