My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Still dying that you shit outside
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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