Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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