You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
