The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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