She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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