And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
