Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
