My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
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