You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
