There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He better not be in your backpack
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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