dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
