Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
