I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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