Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
