how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Come share oat with me in your robe
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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