very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
