so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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