i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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