I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
