I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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