giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize