How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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