She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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