How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
