so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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